Best Belt Buckle Practices for Big Guys
Posted on April 4, 2008 by admin
Riding on the L train yesterday, from Manhattan to Brooklyn, I squeezed between two portly gentlemen into the last available rush hour seat. I happened to notice one had a gaudy, diamond encrusted “C” where his belt buckle should have been. This got me thinking, what are the rules of engagement when it comes to belt buckles and big guys? Here’s a list of do’s and don’ts I have since come up with.
1. Proportionally speaking, big fellas can get away with big belt buckles. But don’t go overboard. If you can eat your dinner on it, it’s too big.
2. Stick to traditional shapes that don’t threaten to puncture your flesh with their sharp corners. My friend on the train looked like a balloon about to be pricked by a fugitive “C” that escaped a very rich kid’s alphabet set.
3. Don’t pull the belt buckle or tuck the shirt too tight. Like my Mama said, “leave a little to the imagination.”
4. Stear clear of buckles with beer and liquor product insignias. Nothing takes you from hulking hero to beer gut guy faster than advertising your taste for hooch with a Bud chaser.
5. Choose belt buckles made of materials that whisper rather than shout. Copper and pewter trump gold and faux diamonds. Brown and black leather fabric belt buckles are another smart option.
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Wow, if the hipsters in Portland or Williamsberg see you wearing this; you might have a riot on your hands.
But lets face it, it looks cool, and the beer is not bad either. I say, forget about the past, and make this Pee-B-R part of your future!