Riddle: What Do Belt Buckles and Belvedere Vodka Have in Common?
Posted on May 22, 2008 by admin Filed Under Articles, Fun | Leave a Comment
Answer: Both are products representing a “luxury lifestyle”. Of course, to buy that line of thinking you’d have to define luxury as drinking red bull and vodka and performing public fellatio. Perhaps Paris Hilton is the target audience? It would probably not be the definition of luxury if you were a reader of Wired, the magazine in which the ad first appeared–seriously flawed marketing, as Freddy Nager points out in his Cool Rules Pronto column.
But ad placement and overtly sexual innuendo are not the problem with this ad. The problem is in the styling. Seriously, folks. The “satisfied” chap with the belt buckle is not a jet-setting hipster, he’s a cowboy and when have you known a real cowboy to drink Belvedere? And how do I know he’s a cowboy? Well….
1. His shirt is bright white and entirely tucked in. Hipsters buy withered second-hand shirts and tuck them in only behind the buckle for that disheveled, “I’m not trying too hard” look.
2. His denim is crisp, lacks stretch and pulled taut around the family jewels. No low-rise, skinny jeans for this guy.
3. He’s erect…er, standing up straight. Hipsters slouch.
So, I’ll ask again. What do Belt Buckles and Belvedere Vodka Have in Common? Answer: Aside from the fact that they’re both nouns, nada. Long live cowboys who work a full day, tuck in their shirts and respect women. I’m off now for a quick game of tennis and a relaxing shiatsu massage…just as soon as I finish drinking my Schlitz on the rocks.
In My Opinion…
Posted on May 20, 2008 by admin Filed Under Fun, Special Buckles | Leave a Comment
So many belt buckles these days are less about holding up your pants and more about sending a message. Often, the message is sexual, whether blatantly so or rife with innuendo. The big banana buckle, recently featured on fashionably geek, is a prime example. The blogger highlighting the belt buckle asks, “do you have the balls to wear the big banana belt buckle?”
He should have asked whether you have the balls not to. In my experience, boys who’ve told me they have big feet have only…ahem…big shoes. Wasn’t it Churchill who said “Walk softly and carry a big stick?” In short, don’t advertise your strengths. It either diminishes them or suggests you’re compensating.
Pick of the Week: A Belt Buckle for the Low-Tech
Posted on April 28, 2008 by admin Filed Under Collecting Belt Buckles, Fun, Pick of the Week, Special Buckles | Leave a Comment
The LED belt buckle has gotten a lot of press. Now meet the anti-LED buckle. The white board belt buckle is to the LED what letters are to email, walkman is to ipod and rotary is to cell phone. Low-tech and proud, the white board belt buckle is user-friendly–one need only decent penmanship to operate it–and has several handy applications:
1. “Can I get your number?” no longer requires frantic search for cocktail napkin and embarassing request of bartenders pen.
2. Writing address on it means cabbie will drop your drunkenness home instead of on street corner.
3. No memory yields no documentation of stupid one-liners and fake phone numbers (see #1).
Warning: Do not wear in rain, snow, sleet, hailstorm or shower as contents dissolve when wet.
My Million Dollar Belt Buckle Idea
Posted on April 24, 2008 by admin Filed Under Fun, Special Buckles | Leave a Comment
Another post for the ladies. Fashionably Geek recently highlighted a hilarious belt buckle that features a pivoting magnifying glass and tweezers “to assist in “working with all those small parts”.
My dirty mind zipped immediately to, ahem, small body parts on the opposite sex but the author could have been referring to eyebrows or nose hairs or hangnails or…
Which brought me to my next thought. What if you mounted your entire personal care kit on your belt buckle? Kind of like a fanny pack–ugghh, remember those?–for a gal on the go. And, it has the added bonus of giving you a great ab workout; the higher maintenance your regimen, the heavier the buckle, the greater the effort to remain upright.
For non-believers, check out previous Western Belt Buckle posts on funtional belt buckles. Bottle openers and knife belt buckles? Ha! They’ve got nothing on the dop kit belt buckle…coming soon.
Pick of the Week: The Cadillac of Belt Buckles
Posted on April 14, 2008 by admin Filed Under Fun, Pick of the Week, Special Buckles | Leave a Comment
I’ve kinda had a car theme going lately–Mustang and Ford seatbelts refashioned as belt buckles–and have, in the past, highlighted funtional belt buckles. Well, here’s the cadillac of cool belt buckles…literally.
Part hood ornament, part bottle opener, the caddy belt buckle is all class. Of course, you must unhook the buckle to open your Michelob–not so classy–but, it’s a great icebreaker at dull parties.
The above photo, courtesy of Amazon.com, is the back of the belt buckle. Front detail photo available here.
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